The only thing that I have left in my life is this letter.
To: my special someone.
There comes a time in our lives when we are all faced by hard decisions and we might not know what to do. I think that there are valuable lessons learned in every little thing in our lives, weather they are good or bad. I don’t think that I can bring my self to tell you how strong a feeling I feel for someone in my life. This person is so special to me that I can not write a word that would have the same significance of this feeling inside of me that I have for this one special someone. Some times I get in a situation where I don’t know what to do. I don’t know weather to be mad or to feel like crying all day long. So I guess that you could say that I am stuck in the middle some where. I want to go to some one and ask them what I should do. But I know that they will not look at the situation like I will, they would judge him until he would no longer feel like he is welcome. So I fell very alone, I feel like there is no one that I can turn to because the person that I would usually go to is the whole reason that I need someone‘s guidance. It is kind of ironic. But all the same I feel like I have no one.
When I think about why this has happened I cant find a reason. I don’t know why he didn’t just stop and think, and I don’t know why I wont very be able to an answer that question. I feel like I come second. And it comes first. I feel as if it is wanted more than I am. That might not be true because I am usually the one that is there and usually the one that is taken, but when the other one comes around, it seems as though it was taken with out any thought of me. As though I was not in his mind any longer, I was just thrown out with all of the other things that were not important at that moment. Then the next moment rolls around and it comes back to me that I had come second again. I think that in that moment where I feel that I have come second is when I feel the worst. I feel as if everything around me is so much more important and so much more valuable than I am. As I stand back and evaluate the situation I think to my self that there is some way or some thing that will make me feel better. But honestly, I think that only time can heal things that are so close to my heart. There are many ways that I have of coping with such things. One being that I just stop caring and move on to the next thing in my life. But in the situation I don’t think that I could even think about doing that. I need him to be in my life to much.
I don’t know weather to think that this is the beginning of the end, or if it is just a new start of a very valuable lesson. I don’t know what I am going to do if I am not helped through this one….. I think that I can make it but that it will take so much of me that I will not be able to think of anything or anyone else. And I don’t want that to happen. All I want is to get through this one, with the one that I love. So I think that at the time when I face the hardest decisions in my life that it is the time where I am going to need to be the strongest, and not let myself slowly slip away. I am bigger than that and I can get through this with out hurting myself or anyone around me.
Sincerely
12/14/04
RaeAnne Adams
There comes a time in our lives when we are all faced by hard decisions and we might not know what to do. I think that there are valuable lessons learned in every little thing in our lives, weather they are good or bad. I don’t think that I can bring my self to tell you how strong a feeling I feel for someone in my life. This person is so special to me that I can not write a word that would have the same significance of this feeling inside of me that I have for this one special someone. Some times I get in a situation where I don’t know what to do. I don’t know weather to be mad or to feel like crying all day long. So I guess that you could say that I am stuck in the middle some where. I want to go to some one and ask them what I should do. But I know that they will not look at the situation like I will, they would judge him until he would no longer feel like he is welcome. So I fell very alone, I feel like there is no one that I can turn to because the person that I would usually go to is the whole reason that I need someone‘s guidance. It is kind of ironic. But all the same I feel like I have no one.
When I think about why this has happened I cant find a reason. I don’t know why he didn’t just stop and think, and I don’t know why I wont very be able to an answer that question. I feel like I come second. And it comes first. I feel as if it is wanted more than I am. That might not be true because I am usually the one that is there and usually the one that is taken, but when the other one comes around, it seems as though it was taken with out any thought of me. As though I was not in his mind any longer, I was just thrown out with all of the other things that were not important at that moment. Then the next moment rolls around and it comes back to me that I had come second again. I think that in that moment where I feel that I have come second is when I feel the worst. I feel as if everything around me is so much more important and so much more valuable than I am. As I stand back and evaluate the situation I think to my self that there is some way or some thing that will make me feel better. But honestly, I think that only time can heal things that are so close to my heart. There are many ways that I have of coping with such things. One being that I just stop caring and move on to the next thing in my life. But in the situation I don’t think that I could even think about doing that. I need him to be in my life to much.
I don’t know weather to think that this is the beginning of the end, or if it is just a new start of a very valuable lesson. I don’t know what I am going to do if I am not helped through this one….. I think that I can make it but that it will take so much of me that I will not be able to think of anything or anyone else. And I don’t want that to happen. All I want is to get through this one, with the one that I love. So I think that at the time when I face the hardest decisions in my life that it is the time where I am going to need to be the strongest, and not let myself slowly slip away. I am bigger than that and I can get through this with out hurting myself or anyone around me.
Sincerely
12/14/04
RaeAnne Adams
posted by RaeAnne Adams at 2:55 PM
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